Text-Speak

I tend towards completely mildly absurd Stalkbook statuses. Mostly they are vaguely (or cryptically) related to what’s going on in my life but, sometimes, they’re just nonsense. As I’ve previously discussed, those angst-filled Facebook statuses irritate me. You know the ones? The ones that are shouting “Look at me! Look at me! I need sympathy! Ask me what’s wrong.” Ones like: Poppie van Complainer is so cross.

Anyway, let me not get off my point. At some stage last week I had a completely nonsense one and a friend of mine commented thus: ROFLMFAO.

I have a thing about text language. I don’t like it. I have had to compose a letter which I should send.

Dear Friend,

Thank you so much for commenting on my Stalkbook status. As much as we don’t like to admit it, acknowledgement of any kind is always welcome, even if it is of an incomprehensible kind on a vacuous platform such as Stalkbook. I just have a little thing to say.

While I am also of the kind that opens Stalkbook, then wanders into the kitchen to make myself a nice sandwich (cheese and gherkin, with a smattering of chutney is currently my favourite) while it is downloading, one should not fill one’s mouth with said sandwich, just before commenting. As my mother (and I’m sure yours) always said, it is rude to talk with one’s mouth full and, generally, also makes what you are saying unintelligible.

This was obviously the case with your comment: ROFLMFAO. I spent a long time (while eating my delicious cheese/gherkin/chutney sandwich), trying to work out exactly what you were trying to say. I’m going to go with: You are wonderfully clever, witty, and beautiful too. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Thanks, again, for commenting though. Please don’t let this put you off. As I said, I’m a sucker for acknowledgement.

Love,
Shiny x

I am getting old, aren’t I?

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